For those Gentlemen Callers

This goes for those who are still singles out there. Thanks to PolicyMic, my mind started racing again. It's weekend time and people want to have fun, possibly drink and hopefully meet someone enchanting that happens to be attractive. Can somebody tell me is it still social etiquette to ask for a phone of someone you like or have we all become paranoid? It seems that some ladies are often harassed to the point of receiving an aggressive behavior from men that results from casual rejection. Well, it has not been my place yet but I'm pretty sure I'd get terrified if a guy twice my size wants to knock me out and have fun with me. Obviously, alcohol does not help in keeping your cool but it is not an excuse for harmful behavior. And what about situations where drinking is not involved?

Some women are not lucky enough to only receive insults, some of them get beaten or raped while others get shot at. Whatever the statistics are in these facts there is proof this kind of things happen all the time, and not because it has become common means that it is the right thing to do. Some people do not know how to handle rejection and the Feminist Phone Intervention came up with a way to avoid unwanted confrontations. Their resolve was to activate a fake phone number service that sends a Bell Hooks quote to whoever calls or texts. It has promising results and has proven that it is user friendly *around thousands of calls in the first day, with no signs of slowing down." according to their website. However, just as anything in this world is great as well as questionable, people are objecting on whether this is a good solution to the problem. When I read the article in PolicyMic my thought was "I wish this thing was around a couple of years ago." Apart from saving me the trouble of having the guy call the number right in front of me, it could have helped me in avoid meet pushy people. But in the comments section there were some that thought this "passive aggressive alternative" is just as bas as the girl saying she has a boyfriend to scare other men away.

As I scrolled down the comments kept on being apathetic. Some users said to just say "NO" was enough (as if rapists listen to their victims) others suggested to always have a friend with you but trust me, read how this woman gets assaulted in the restroom of a bar after rejecting this guy's dance moves here and tell me how to get a friend to protect me in that situation. As shocking as this is, it's not the only story I could find ... there is this McLover who got beat up to death after not giving her phone number to a stranger (read article) or how this woman got to punish the culprit her own way read me. Thus let it be noted that after the drive-by shooting in Isla Vista, CA raised awareness of male aggression toward women rejection.

I do have to agree that this is an easy cop-out for girls who are plainly not interested and that some good guys will be getting the short end of the stick. I personally prefer to bargain a guy's could-be-good-intentions over having a guy annoy me day and night ... or worse. So what if men are offended when they figure out it's a fake number, wanna know how women get offended over male "good intentions?" stay updated with abortion legislation in Texas. In the end it comes down to the male wanting to override female autonomy and it gets out of hand pretty often. Humans have to accept the fact that as living beings we are also animal, and when we become aware of this instinct it's easier to adapt our behaviors. Yes, social standards suck but we don't have to harm each other. When will we stop feeling the paranoia?

Between rants and rats

Well this weeks was the perfect time to figure out what goes on in that 30 mps head of mine. Fortunately, I didn't have to struggle for long. By the time I bumped into an acquaintance I was already in my usual do-not-pretend-you're-better-than-me-attitude (which never fails to rescue me). Honestly, the nerve of some people.

What first started as an occasional friendly "Oh my, I haven't seen you in so long" ended up in "why did I open my mouth?" See, the moment was delightful for about a minute ... that's all I have to say. I am pretty sure that this happens to everybody and it may be that I need to develop my tolerance when dealing with jerks, but it will be so much easier if the jerks kept it real for once and by that I mean for them not to think that people actually eat their BS. After saying hi to each other, this particular jerk decided to give me the all-judging-eye when asking about what I and my work have been up to ... well, if you are so interested, why not keeping in touch? Then she went on and on about not wasting my talent blah blah blah but the judging eye never left the conversation until I responded with my feet in the ground and the truth saying I don't care and it's true, I don't. Especially when you want me to follow your crowd, when you want me to help you with your projects, when you want me to follow your beliefs, I don't care.

The question here is not "how come I don't want to show my work?" but "how come you want to see it so badly?" why insist so much? and getting into that ... you care so much you don't even make the effort to text how's your day? ... yeah, I believe you care alright. If you want to act mature try eating your own shit for a change. And that is it, this made come to a resolution for my headaches ... if you don't care, people, I care even less.

Peace out y'all

In the Quest of Finding Friends

Lately things got out of hand. How come every time trust is earned it is just discarded as easily. People seem to have a knack to unworthiness. In other words, people just like to be hated. It is not like I used to be surrounded by laughing people all the time and I just didn't understand how some are able to have so many acquaintances at once. Even though it has not been my intention, I have researched youthful behavior and what once was "peace and love to everybody" now has become "pretend to be nice to each other until the one you dislike goes away" and up goes the shit-talk. I have been a witness to many and it makes me wonder how many times it's been my name used and in how many shit-talks.

Yah, I come to realize these people are not worthy of any friendship whatsoever however they are the ones that keep sooooooo many "friends" around. Forgive me but I do not involve myself in such activities for I hold a friendship, ANY friendship, dear to my heart. I regard any act to harm others or show yourself off at the expense of others very hypocritical and I reserve my right to not want to relate with any hypocrites. And it is this very fact that makes me happy to consider loneliness; think about it by being alone you are not risking being seen or related to any hypocrites, nor do you have to put up with ignorant remarks about somebody's awful outfit. If your attitude is corrosive, why affect so many people around you? If it is clear that you and YOU alone are the one responsible for all the negativity around. They say "mejor sólo que mal acompañado" (better off alone than in bad hands) and guess what? It's my motto C=

The days of keeping a helping hand are OVER and that is because each one of us has contributed to being untruthful to each other. How about being selfless for a while, but really mean it. Go help a friend move out without expecting food in the end, in fact, why don't you take your friend lunch? he/she is wiped tired out of packing and moving for who knows how long. You have a truck? don't charge for gas. Wanna drink? bring your own drinks. Hospitality is awesome, but don't expect others to give it to you when you don't initiate especially in this day and age when economy is just a big sack of stress. OH! and the most important of all, if you don't like somebody's life/partner/style/clothes/speech chances are ... people say the same about you. It is known that when a person dislikes other and criticizes the other for "their" bad habits, it is just a reflection of what you don't like about yourself. So how about looking at yourself in the mirror every once in a while, huh? Do you dare to look at your own persona? As you as true to yourself as you make others believe? Please.

Why give a price to a friendship if "having your back" is much more valuable than any beers, pizza or gas you could ever get. And in my defense: Wanna keep talking shit? Go for it, I won't get in your way (or your life) anymore.

I leave you with the song that's been stuck in my head regarding this theme
Peace out!

P.S. Regarding my quest ... the answer is do not expect anybody to be your friend. Don't get hurt.

Bitch o Resbaloza

Hace un par de días se me ocurrió de manera muy pedante poner en el "feiz" una imagen muy simpática de Simone de Beauvoir que dice: "Una mujer libre es justo lo contrario de una mujer fácil" A mi gusto esa frase respalda ciertos pensamientos que me han acechado desde ..... desde rato. Antes de entrar a detalle, debo de admitir que de Simone de Beauvoir solo sé que ha escrito varios títulos y que la utilizan de referencia muchas feministas. LO SE, LO SE!! Cómo me atrevo? Pues lo hecho, hecho está. Afortunadamente una fuente más iluminada se tomó el tiempo de cuestionar mis intenciones con la imagen esa, a lo que contesto pedantemente "es diferente ser una Bitch a ser una resbalosa" (mmmm y asi espero ganarme a la audiencia) Mi amiga me contestó con hechos acerca de la escritora de los cuales yo no estaba percatada (Obviamente!) y después de morderme las uñas como zoquete por 5 minutos me di cuenta que a pesar de todo este tiempo que he reflexionado acerca de las mujeres en el feminismo ... Yo soy el problema, no me sé explicar.

En el momento mi mente sufría de adrenalina por estar haciendo varias cosas al mismo tiempo y por alguna razón yo tenía que contestar esa pregunta en ese mismo instante si no mi cabeza explotaría gracias al estrés extremo que sentía ... y gracias a eso de mi mente salió una frase digna de toda chica preparatoriana que se siente revolucionaria. No es uno de mis grandes momentos pero no me retracto del todo ya que aun puedo respaldar esa respuesta con experiencia y la ayuda de ciertos filósofos (que no incluyen a Simone de Beauvoir) La lengua y las palabras son armas muy delicadas que uno debe saber como utilizarlas a su favor, de otra forma la mente de uno no se dejara de percibir puberta. 

Gracias a la modernización de la sociedad, hemos apropiado ciertos significados a palabras que ni siquiera nos interesa de donde vienen. Tanto bitch como resbalosa son denotadas como insultos sexistas que describen cuando una mujer se comporta de una manera que no es apropiada frente a la presencia de caballeros pero esta actitud está perfectamente justificada cuando un macho alfa quiere copular. El significado de la palabra bitch es una hembra de un perro, si claro una perra, pero por favor alejémonos del doble sentido. Regresemos a la leyenda de Rómulo y Remo, los fundadores de Roma que fueron criados por una Loba ... una Bitch así es, en inglés le dicen The Bitch Goddess Lupa a la diosa Lupa (pero dijiste que el significado era perra no loba ... bueno entonces que animal es el antepasado del perro?) Nuestros ancestros se referían a esta y otras deidades como perras y no era ofensa! al contrario, era un cumplido si un hombre le llegaba a decir Bitch a la mujer ya que con esa palabra conlleva los atributos de fuerza, fertilidad que luego fueron asumidos por la diosa Diana, la cazadora. Los romanos celebraban el festival de la Lupercalia para la fertilidad y la purificación de la ciudad pero luego algo pasó en Pompeii que los romanos empezaron a llamarles Lupa a las prostitutas de por ahí ... que sorpresa. No que yo utilize solamente esta denotación de la palabra pero en realidad prefiero ser una perra a una resbalosa porque sea cual sea el significado de la palabra, esto implica que la persona referida tiene control sobre su persona al punto que no se deja llevar a lo que otros le dicen.

Al contrario una mujer resbalosa tiende a tomar forma de una persona conspiradora y manipuladora por  egoísmo y gustos propios ... no se, al menos a si le he dado forma en mi cabeza. Una mujer fácil es aquella que se deja persuadir bajo cualquier condición sin el poder de expresarse. No relaciono ningún término con practicas sexuales ya que en mi cabeza la importancia que la humanidad le da a nuestra preciada sexualidad es irrelevante; como cualquier otro ser el ser humano tiene la necesidad para reproducirse pero el único que le teme a esa necesidad, la disfruta pero le teme. Y es así que nace el tabú. Ejem, pero se me olvida mencionar que al igual que esta puberta rebelde *yo* Simone de Beauvoir también se puso a cuestionar estos comportamientos en la sociedad y creo sus propios estandares para convivir con sus semejantes, al igual que muchos otros personajes históricos han llevado una vida sexual privada la cual parece tan relevante que hasta lleva a cambiar la forma de ver a estas personas. Como si alguno de tus vecinos, primos, amigo de tu amigo, novia, perro o gato no haya hecho algo parecido. Le damos tanta importancia a la vida privada de la gente que se nos olvida que no somos perfectos. Si de eso se trata, debemos de ponernos a analizar lo que Nietzsche escribe acerca de Sócrates "Estando de paso en Atenas un extranjero fisonomista le dijo a Sócrates en su cara que era un monstruo que ocultaba todos los vicios y malos deseos. Y Sócrates respondió sencillamente: 'Usted me conoce, señor mío.'" También lo califica de erótico, caricaturesco y a Platón no lo baja de gordo bofo. El ser humano tiende a glorificar su imagen y la imagen de sus héroes, hay estatuas de mármol para comprobarlo.

No que no quiera hablar de Simone de Beauvoir pero en realidad no se si la tome fuera de contexto, lo que si puedo asegurar es que todo depende del ángulo de donde se vean las cosas. No podré ser muy feminista, ni filósofa, ni polígama pero si me gusta tener una mente neutral. Y gracias a Pati por aclarar algo que pudo haber creado confusión en el futuro ....

He aquí la dichosa imagen: