To breastfeed or not to breastfeed

Lately, there has been a lot of ruckus about what a woman should or should not do with her body and we have many sources to thank for that. As the feminist movement grows, so do the questions about what is decent and well, what isn't. Decency, as beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. But when does someone's definition of decency interferes with another's righteous liberty? That was the case in question this week when Karina went to Marshalls and needed to nurse her baby.

Karina Gomez's post

She states "I was denied my right to breastfeed where I wanted to by a marshalls employee. I was denied to breastfeed in a dressing room, instead I was directed to a bathroom stall to breastfeed." Breastfeeding is as natural as feeding but that does not stop the action from being uncomfortable to some people. The post has already had over four thousand people talking about it and the response is about 50/50 on how appropriate or inappropriate this is. We have some previous-nursing mothers stating she could have covered the boob or even gone to the car instead of making a fuzz, as well as some men admitting they like boobies but not when they're breastfeeding.

Now, this is where the discussion begins. Breasts may be nice to look at in art but has society gone too far as to objectify the female body every single time? So much as to take it out of context when the chance arrives. As I stated before, the feminist movement is a growing force nonetheless it may attract some derogatory attraction by how some members of the group act to the extent where the word feminism might have lost its meaning for good. For example, a common trend has risen since 2014 called #Freethenipple "hoping to decriminalize female nudity" but not too long ago I found an article by Georgina Jones in Bustle.com that says:

Although I agree with the original message of Free the Nipple — the unfairness that “you can sell breasts, but you cannot wear breasts, in America” (Violet Rose) — the movement has begun to seem like a means to allow women with [only] sellable breasts to wear them in America.

Well, peepers will be the judges of that but let it be noted that women should take a stand just as all people should when injustice prevails. Regardless of how comfortable/uncomfortable breastfeeding could be for peepers, the fact is that Karina felt uncomfortable at how the Marshalls employee handled the situation, and for that there must be a more sensitive way to address these matters.

#40DaysofFlow

Well, I've tried different things to keep myself "balanced" and I just don't seem to get a grip of discipline. This time I'm not doing so bad. Since I got into hooping a lot of my perspective has changed; for some reason, I feel more connected to my body and can synchronize some daily tasks better. This is all thanks to Deanne Love and her fabulous youtube videos that have taught me how to move. Now she has come up with a brilliant idea to encourage and inspire many people around her and I just met her soon enough to jump into the wagon.

40 Days of Flow consists on performing from 6+ daily tasks (among them hula hooping) to release stress and make yourself feel better. At the beginning I was skeptic about the whole deal but I decided to make it work this time. Not only because I've been wanting to hoop like ... all my life, but because I need a routine that takes me out of my monotony. Starting Aug. 1st 2014 we are set to change our lifestyle with 6 simple goals. See, my goals aren't much different from a lot of the people that have joined this event but that doesn't mean that I'm not proud of my soon accomplishments.

This is the list of goals I prepared for myself.

* Hoop everyday

* Drink plenty of fluids

* Eat nutritious food       (this ... this is hard for me u.u)

* Take a picture

* Draw my mental state

* Write something positive (anywhere)

Although I try to perform these on a daily basis I end up slacking it ... so far, drawing has been the toughest for me but I really want to get in synch with all these skills. I may have not said it in the past but I really want to perform hula hoop dancing and I feel like these #40daysofflow will turn me into the hooper I've always wanted to be. Thanks Deanne!

One Flew Over the Candle's Wax

As the scent of vanilla wax filled my apartment I took a shower, with only one candle to light the event. To my surprise a stranger chimed in to the occasion with the desire to cherish the beautiful light at the end of the tunnel. And like that, the stranger perpetuated its prescence, like the mosquitoe trapped in the resin in its silent requiem.

Check out the haiku in my Tumblr. Yes! it's finally here. Show your love <3 p="">

The big decision

It's been a year since I finished my bachelors (yay) and I find myself doing the same things I've done since moving out of my parents house. At some point the feeling of cynicism took over me and makes it hard to survive in a town like mine. Everybody wants to get out of here, trust me ... for some reason we stay. It could be the family, friends or the party scene but let's be honest you can find that anywhere. Like any other el-pasoan it has crossed my mind to get outta town and never come back, I did and came back; once again I took it upon myself to find a new destination, a goal ... Gradschool (say it with a whisper for more dramatic effect)

There I go, scrambling between old cardboard portfolios and new lightbulbs to get my professional grove on. As much of an odyssey, it was a good workout to begin the organization of what I call "studio." At the beginning it was just my doubt playing; I had doubts about my skill, my trade, and my relationship so I thought applying to gradschool would be a good way to verify if anything of what I do has value. My mental state at that point was a dreadful flatline, as much as I hurried myself to get everything on time it seemed like a never ending drag ... I started feeling like living with my parents would feel like. But I did it, in time (last minute) everything complete in a cd with a hard copy of the contents and my artist statement, all inside an expensive folder paid to ship overnight. And so it went. In a month or so I received the letter stating "you're in!" in the most professional manner with instructions on where to look to figure out how to pay tuition.

Believe me when I say this, I wanted to be happy ... but that wasn't the case. The struggle to figure out what to do ... or better written ... how to move my crap to another city didn't compare with the struggle I was suffering inside. My inner girly-self had a conflict with my independent go-getter self. As much as I wanted to continue with my studied, it seemed like the thing left to do until I figure out what to do with an art degree, only to sacrifice my relationship and the love life I've always wanted. I could take up and leave regardless of whether my boyfriend still finished his bachelors or not, which meant he had to stay.  --- NO! I don't feel emotionally strong to carry on a distance relationship while performing tasks of stressful nature but hey let's give it a try. You know how good you are at screwing relationships ... have faith in you, you can do it. You can have it all --- I kept saying to myself throughout. All meanwhile my friends gave my the sad puppy eyes with a shocked expression when they found out I was leaving my man behind.

I took two trips to my new destination, the first time with my beloved and the second time alone ... It wasn't my cup of tea. I just didn't get it, gradschool has been such a goal for me and it's a great thing to accomplish but my sadness overflew my mind when I started thinking about my relationship and what it would become of it. Am I being selfish by leaving? Can it last? Am I going to make it without having a breakdown? Am I falling for the same emotional baggage every woman is tied to? I just couldn't do it, as much as I wanted it to work. I decided to be patient, to stay and wait for my partner in crime to finish his degree. Because I care for him and I cannot spend a day away from him, no matter how much I deny it to myself. I am allowing myself to stay in love and enjoy life together. It may be a dumb move in my career however it is the only thing I can look for. It's hard to find someone who cares about you and supports you loads. We are that kind of couple that is stronger when together and it's time to embrace it, even if that means staying here more time ... it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all

For those Gentlemen Callers

This goes for those who are still singles out there. Thanks to PolicyMic, my mind started racing again. It's weekend time and people want to have fun, possibly drink and hopefully meet someone enchanting that happens to be attractive. Can somebody tell me is it still social etiquette to ask for a phone of someone you like or have we all become paranoid? It seems that some ladies are often harassed to the point of receiving an aggressive behavior from men that results from casual rejection. Well, it has not been my place yet but I'm pretty sure I'd get terrified if a guy twice my size wants to knock me out and have fun with me. Obviously, alcohol does not help in keeping your cool but it is not an excuse for harmful behavior. And what about situations where drinking is not involved?

Some women are not lucky enough to only receive insults, some of them get beaten or raped while others get shot at. Whatever the statistics are in these facts there is proof this kind of things happen all the time, and not because it has become common means that it is the right thing to do. Some people do not know how to handle rejection and the Feminist Phone Intervention came up with a way to avoid unwanted confrontations. Their resolve was to activate a fake phone number service that sends a Bell Hooks quote to whoever calls or texts. It has promising results and has proven that it is user friendly *around thousands of calls in the first day, with no signs of slowing down." according to their website. However, just as anything in this world is great as well as questionable, people are objecting on whether this is a good solution to the problem. When I read the article in PolicyMic my thought was "I wish this thing was around a couple of years ago." Apart from saving me the trouble of having the guy call the number right in front of me, it could have helped me in avoid meet pushy people. But in the comments section there were some that thought this "passive aggressive alternative" is just as bas as the girl saying she has a boyfriend to scare other men away.

As I scrolled down the comments kept on being apathetic. Some users said to just say "NO" was enough (as if rapists listen to their victims) others suggested to always have a friend with you but trust me, read how this woman gets assaulted in the restroom of a bar after rejecting this guy's dance moves here and tell me how to get a friend to protect me in that situation. As shocking as this is, it's not the only story I could find ... there is this McLover who got beat up to death after not giving her phone number to a stranger (read article) or how this woman got to punish the culprit her own way read me. Thus let it be noted that after the drive-by shooting in Isla Vista, CA raised awareness of male aggression toward women rejection.

I do have to agree that this is an easy cop-out for girls who are plainly not interested and that some good guys will be getting the short end of the stick. I personally prefer to bargain a guy's could-be-good-intentions over having a guy annoy me day and night ... or worse. So what if men are offended when they figure out it's a fake number, wanna know how women get offended over male "good intentions?" stay updated with abortion legislation in Texas. In the end it comes down to the male wanting to override female autonomy and it gets out of hand pretty often. Humans have to accept the fact that as living beings we are also animal, and when we become aware of this instinct it's easier to adapt our behaviors. Yes, social standards suck but we don't have to harm each other. When will we stop feeling the paranoia?

Between rants and rats

Well this weeks was the perfect time to figure out what goes on in that 30 mps head of mine. Fortunately, I didn't have to struggle for long. By the time I bumped into an acquaintance I was already in my usual do-not-pretend-you're-better-than-me-attitude (which never fails to rescue me). Honestly, the nerve of some people.

What first started as an occasional friendly "Oh my, I haven't seen you in so long" ended up in "why did I open my mouth?" See, the moment was delightful for about a minute ... that's all I have to say. I am pretty sure that this happens to everybody and it may be that I need to develop my tolerance when dealing with jerks, but it will be so much easier if the jerks kept it real for once and by that I mean for them not to think that people actually eat their BS. After saying hi to each other, this particular jerk decided to give me the all-judging-eye when asking about what I and my work have been up to ... well, if you are so interested, why not keeping in touch? Then she went on and on about not wasting my talent blah blah blah but the judging eye never left the conversation until I responded with my feet in the ground and the truth saying I don't care and it's true, I don't. Especially when you want me to follow your crowd, when you want me to help you with your projects, when you want me to follow your beliefs, I don't care.

The question here is not "how come I don't want to show my work?" but "how come you want to see it so badly?" why insist so much? and getting into that ... you care so much you don't even make the effort to text how's your day? ... yeah, I believe you care alright. If you want to act mature try eating your own shit for a change. And that is it, this made come to a resolution for my headaches ... if you don't care, people, I care even less.

Peace out y'all

In the Quest of Finding Friends

Lately things got out of hand. How come every time trust is earned it is just discarded as easily. People seem to have a knack to unworthiness. In other words, people just like to be hated. It is not like I used to be surrounded by laughing people all the time and I just didn't understand how some are able to have so many acquaintances at once. Even though it has not been my intention, I have researched youthful behavior and what once was "peace and love to everybody" now has become "pretend to be nice to each other until the one you dislike goes away" and up goes the shit-talk. I have been a witness to many and it makes me wonder how many times it's been my name used and in how many shit-talks.

Yah, I come to realize these people are not worthy of any friendship whatsoever however they are the ones that keep sooooooo many "friends" around. Forgive me but I do not involve myself in such activities for I hold a friendship, ANY friendship, dear to my heart. I regard any act to harm others or show yourself off at the expense of others very hypocritical and I reserve my right to not want to relate with any hypocrites. And it is this very fact that makes me happy to consider loneliness; think about it by being alone you are not risking being seen or related to any hypocrites, nor do you have to put up with ignorant remarks about somebody's awful outfit. If your attitude is corrosive, why affect so many people around you? If it is clear that you and YOU alone are the one responsible for all the negativity around. They say "mejor sólo que mal acompañado" (better off alone than in bad hands) and guess what? It's my motto C=

The days of keeping a helping hand are OVER and that is because each one of us has contributed to being untruthful to each other. How about being selfless for a while, but really mean it. Go help a friend move out without expecting food in the end, in fact, why don't you take your friend lunch? he/she is wiped tired out of packing and moving for who knows how long. You have a truck? don't charge for gas. Wanna drink? bring your own drinks. Hospitality is awesome, but don't expect others to give it to you when you don't initiate especially in this day and age when economy is just a big sack of stress. OH! and the most important of all, if you don't like somebody's life/partner/style/clothes/speech chances are ... people say the same about you. It is known that when a person dislikes other and criticizes the other for "their" bad habits, it is just a reflection of what you don't like about yourself. So how about looking at yourself in the mirror every once in a while, huh? Do you dare to look at your own persona? As you as true to yourself as you make others believe? Please.

Why give a price to a friendship if "having your back" is much more valuable than any beers, pizza or gas you could ever get. And in my defense: Wanna keep talking shit? Go for it, I won't get in your way (or your life) anymore.

I leave you with the song that's been stuck in my head regarding this theme
Peace out!

P.S. Regarding my quest ... the answer is do not expect anybody to be your friend. Don't get hurt.